cause Americans are fat and lazy and there's 10000000000000 of these stores 2 inches away from each other

i prefer my coffee beans like i prefer my marijuana:

weak, stale, and $8.99 a pound

(dunkin donuts is actually better than many of starbucks' offerings, smh)

because its cheap and new englanders are cheap + lazy, im already here getting coffee might as well get a shitty cardboard muffin. DD more popular than *$ here

I like Starbucks' Caramel Apple Spice, it tastes like pie.
It's not coffee though.